TGIF: Becoming Your Own Barbie

3月 29, 2019

I really like this video!!! I can effortlessly, wholeheartedly resonate with those girls' endless love and passion toward Barbie. I'm one of them. As a (should-be) mature adult, it strikes a bit odd to purchase any Barbie doll. Although I feel the same fascinated while browsing any picture or video regarding Barbie, which I always have a soft spot for.

Since I was a little girl, I always like Barbie dolls. And I was very blessed to be gifted and own some. I like the glamour & happy look, the confident demeanor, the colorful style, and the slender figure. Most importantly, I appreciate the BFF kind of company only Barbie dolls could have given me throughout my bleak childhood and adolescence.

Growing up, I was being preached by both of my extremely strict parents that beauty is shallow and, therefore is a very bad/evil thing to pursue. And I learned a hard way it's not correct to make yourself look attractive.

For a very long time, boys from my elementary school and middle school had long made fun of my appearance due to a scar on the right side of my face caused by a severe scooter accident. I was once left in a coma in ICU for over a week then brought to life again. The first time when being teased by a few boys in my class after I returned to school, I was also being named a few unpleasant nicknames by them. I came back home with an angry, crying face, whining I didn't want the scar that made me ugly. That's when/how I remember my mom with a stiff, pale face and for the very first time, she told me "Beauty is nothing good but evil.” and “You should not want it,” in a bizarre way.

And just like I wasn't allowed to show my real feelings and emotions, I wasn't allowed to choose my own hairstyle or the look I'd love to carry, either. I still clearly remembered when I was 10 or 11, my mom asked me to get a haircut, but I told her ‘no’ because I wanted to grow my hair longer. My mom suddenly got very angry and yelled at me that she wasn't going to help tie up my hair, so I'd better figure it out myself. I then still decided to keep my hair and she kept her words by never helping me do or braid my hair once as a punishment. Even there was a time when I was the school band leader and we performed in front of many hundreds of people, my mom still refused to help dress me for that special occasion; perhaps she just didn't think that's a big deal. I felt especially sadder and more unloved that day than ever. I was surrounded by all those well-groomed kids whose parents cared about them, their extracurricular activities and seemed to be proud of them as well as what they were doing.

Idk...I guess I felt ashamed and unimportant. I had an urge to cry out loud, but I tried not to, instead, I tried my best to fake a big smile. I didn't want anyone to see I was flawed, sad or broken.

Being pretty, confident, and being able to hold my head high anytime with no guilt or shame is always on my bucket list. Barbie somehow perfectly serves such a positive inspiration for me. I wanted to be as comfortable in my skin as Barbie. Thankfully and gladly, after I went abroad to study, work and live in New York for couples of years, I started to gain a very different, open-minded perspective on beauty and self-love. I’m finally more liberated and content about what I see and how I look every day.

I guess I got a bit too nostalgia… I apologize and let's get back to the point. This is the amazing online shop and currently has a beyond-wonderful collaboration, Barbie x Unique Vintage for anyone who loves Barbies crazy and always wants to wear their sexy, iconic dresses or ensembles someday in real life.

As for what Barbie outfits I'd like to try on, sun-kissed beachwear and upbeat preppy looks are always my favorite. Recently, I seem to start favoring cozy-up lounge looks, too. It might be related to the fact that my life has been filled with Zen vibes for the past few years since I began to practice mindfulness daily.